Today I am dyslexic!
Apr 1, 2011 10:36:57 GMT -1
Post by gerryw on Apr 1, 2011 10:36:57 GMT -1
Well that is my conclusion anyway.
It could be down to old age (at least I admit it unlike many on here
) or that I've just got up, or that I haven't been out on the sea for a little while. Just don't know but nevertheless I am dyslexic. Honest.
How do I know this? Well this morning I had a few emails to attend to and posts to answer and as usual with my two fingers poised, at the ready I set about attacking my keyboard. Two sentances in I had spent 5 minutes correcting just about every damn word I had written - or typed I should say. G's were replaced by H's, F's with R's and if a word had more than 5 letters in it you might as well start playing scrabble!
The most popular error was the reversal of letters. Yes all the letters were there - just not in the right order. Now to those kids who 'txt' and sign off with CUL8R (and if you do not know what that stands for then you've just failed your test and I welcome you to 'old age') I am sure they could decipher it in a flash. But to us mere mortals from the old school it was just bad spelling.
Next was the cursed missing capital. I became i at every turn. And of course it's no use turning to the spell checker which is usually set on 'auto' as if it sees anything remotely near a word it recognises it gets left in. So what you wished to say as a welcome to a new member might be the biggest insult you could land.
Finally we have the flying 's'. You know the one. The right digit has hit the space bar before the left one has finished applying the 's' to the end of the word. So fishes becomes 'fishe s'.
So that lot got me thinking - why can I type in a jumbled way - if I wanted to I couldn't? Just like Les Dawson playing piano badly, it's harder than you think. Well it might be due to the two cells in my brain. I am convinced I only have the two and at times the wife challenges me for a recount on that score. If I'm right then the left cell controls the right digit and the right cell controls the left digit when typing. What if the wiring was short circuited or interupted occasionally. Well that would delay the signals to the digits and if the right cell was on the blink I wouldn't press down the shift key quickly enough to catch all those capitals. There we have it a scientific hypothesis. Just got to prove it now.
Well let's turn to more appropriate matters - kayaking. There are some days when I can paddle for miles (stamina allowing - they're getting fewer now) in a straight line. Straight as an arrow effortlessly. Then there are others when you might think I've been on the bottle. If the river police ever wanted to catch a drunk driver at the helm of the kayak then on these days they would score.
I concentrate till my two cells hurt but to no avail. I blame the tide. The wind. The company getting too close. But no it's back to my dyslexia again. You see, if my left cell is a bit slower to get the signal to stop the stroke to my right arm than my other cell is to my left, I will veer off line in a circle to the left. And that's what happens. It's no use going to one of Zebra's courses - it's not technique - it's brain cell activity or the lack of it. On days like these I need a tandem and someone else to take over the helm.
Well there we are. I wonder just how many of us suffer the same fate.
For those who might not recognise a word I am talking about I have placed the original text below this one, just as it was typed. See if you can pass the 'old age'test and decypher it.
CUL8R
Gerry ;D
THE ORIGINAL TEXT
Wll that is my cnolcsuion anywa y.
It could be doqn to old age (at laest I admit itu nlike mang on herw ) or that I've just gotu p, or that I hveat'n benn out on the sex for a pittle whlie. Just don't know but nervelhtees s I am dyxlesic. Hones t.
how do I konw this? well this mornn g I had a few mailes to attend to nad post s to ansqer and as usual with y two fongers piseod, at the ready i set about atatackin g my keyboard. Two seantnces in I had s[ent 5 minute s corceting just about every daamn word I had written - or types I should say. g's were relpaced by H's, F' s with R's and if a word ha d more than 5 letters in it you might as well start playongs crabble!
The most poular error was the resalver of letter s. yes all the lettesr were there - just not in the rught irder. Now to those kids who 'txt' and sign off with Cu8rL (and if you do not kniw what that stand s for thrn you@ ve just faiked your teat and I welmoce you to 'ol d ave') I am sure they culd deichper it in a flazh. But to us mete morral s from the old schiil it was just bad spekking.
next was the curwed missing captial. i became i at every turg. And of coutse it's no use tuinrng to the spall chrcier which is usually set on 'aiti' as if it see s anuthin g remotle y near a word it recgonsies it gets left i.n so what you woshed to say as a welcine to a new mekbet might be the boggest insuky you could lanf .
Finally we have the foting 's'. You kno w the one. the right digti has hit the spade bar before the left one has fiindhe s appluing the 's' to the end of the word . So fistes becomes 'fishe s '.
so that lot got me thonking - why can I type in a jumgled wa y - if I wanted to I couldn' t/ Just like led Sawdon playing poani baxly, it's harser thab you thinkb. well it might be die to the tao cekks in my braon. I am convonce d I only have the teo and at tomes the wide chaellgnes mr for a recount on that scite. if I'm right then the lert cell control s the right dugit and the right cell controls the left digot when ytpong. What if the wirin g was shirt corcuite d or interupted cocasionally. well that would delsy the aignals to the digots and if the rught cekk was on the blinl iwouldn' t prexx duwn the shoft key quiclly enoogh to catch all those capital s. there we hvea it a sciemtiffic hypitheso s. Just got to probe it now.
Well let's turn to more appropriate matters = jayakong. There are some days when I can paffle for miles (stanima akkowing = they're getting feqer now) in a stroaght lime. Straight as an aeeow errortlessly. then therr are other s wheb you mught thonk I've been on the boggle . Fi the river polide ever wanged to catch a drink drover at the gelk of the jayak then on thed e day s they woudl scute.
I cuncenrrate till my two cekks hurt but to no avail . iblake the tife. The wins. The dompaym gettin g tii close. bUt no it' s back to my dydlezia agaon. You see, if my legt cell is a bit slosre to get the sitnal t o sto p the strole to my rifht arm than my other cell is to my left , o will veet off lime in a corgle to the loft. ANd that ' s what happen s. it' s no ise goong to one of Zegar's coorses - it's not techniwue - it's biarn clel actiyvit or the lsck of it . On days like these I need a tahsem and someoe n else to take over the gelm.
w ell there we are. I winder just how many of od duffer the sane fart.
f or those who moght not recignose a wurd I am talling a bout I have place the original text below this one, just as it was tuled. See if you can padd the 'olf ate'gest and decuphre ti.
C8RUL
Getty ;D
Just a passing thought - it shows an amazing resemblance to Welsh too - maybe it's part of my heritage, boyo. ;D
It could be down to old age (at least I admit it unlike many on here
) or that I've just got up, or that I haven't been out on the sea for a little while. Just don't know but nevertheless I am dyslexic. Honest.How do I know this? Well this morning I had a few emails to attend to and posts to answer and as usual with my two fingers poised, at the ready I set about attacking my keyboard. Two sentances in I had spent 5 minutes correcting just about every damn word I had written - or typed I should say. G's were replaced by H's, F's with R's and if a word had more than 5 letters in it you might as well start playing scrabble!
The most popular error was the reversal of letters. Yes all the letters were there - just not in the right order. Now to those kids who 'txt' and sign off with CUL8R (and if you do not know what that stands for then you've just failed your test and I welcome you to 'old age') I am sure they could decipher it in a flash. But to us mere mortals from the old school it was just bad spelling.
Next was the cursed missing capital. I became i at every turn. And of course it's no use turning to the spell checker which is usually set on 'auto' as if it sees anything remotely near a word it recognises it gets left in. So what you wished to say as a welcome to a new member might be the biggest insult you could land.
Finally we have the flying 's'. You know the one. The right digit has hit the space bar before the left one has finished applying the 's' to the end of the word. So fishes becomes 'fishe s'.
So that lot got me thinking - why can I type in a jumbled way - if I wanted to I couldn't? Just like Les Dawson playing piano badly, it's harder than you think. Well it might be due to the two cells in my brain. I am convinced I only have the two and at times the wife challenges me for a recount on that score. If I'm right then the left cell controls the right digit and the right cell controls the left digit when typing. What if the wiring was short circuited or interupted occasionally. Well that would delay the signals to the digits and if the right cell was on the blink I wouldn't press down the shift key quickly enough to catch all those capitals. There we have it a scientific hypothesis. Just got to prove it now.
Well let's turn to more appropriate matters - kayaking. There are some days when I can paddle for miles (stamina allowing - they're getting fewer now) in a straight line. Straight as an arrow effortlessly. Then there are others when you might think I've been on the bottle. If the river police ever wanted to catch a drunk driver at the helm of the kayak then on these days they would score.
I concentrate till my two cells hurt but to no avail. I blame the tide. The wind. The company getting too close. But no it's back to my dyslexia again. You see, if my left cell is a bit slower to get the signal to stop the stroke to my right arm than my other cell is to my left, I will veer off line in a circle to the left. And that's what happens. It's no use going to one of Zebra's courses - it's not technique - it's brain cell activity or the lack of it. On days like these I need a tandem and someone else to take over the helm.
Well there we are. I wonder just how many of us suffer the same fate.
For those who might not recognise a word I am talking about I have placed the original text below this one, just as it was typed. See if you can pass the 'old age'test and decypher it.
CUL8R
Gerry ;D
THE ORIGINAL TEXT
Wll that is my cnolcsuion anywa y.
It could be doqn to old age (at laest I admit itu nlike mang on herw
) or that I've just gotu p, or that I hveat'n benn out on the sex for a pittle whlie. Just don't know but nervelhtees s I am dyxlesic. Hones t.how do I konw this? well this mornn g I had a few mailes to attend to nad post s to ansqer and as usual with y two fongers piseod, at the ready i set about atatackin g my keyboard. Two seantnces in I had s[ent 5 minute s corceting just about every daamn word I had written - or types I should say. g's were relpaced by H's, F' s with R's and if a word ha d more than 5 letters in it you might as well start playongs crabble!
The most poular error was the resalver of letter s. yes all the lettesr were there - just not in the rught irder. Now to those kids who 'txt' and sign off with Cu8rL (and if you do not kniw what that stand s for thrn you@ ve just faiked your teat and I welmoce you to 'ol d ave') I am sure they culd deichper it in a flazh. But to us mete morral s from the old schiil it was just bad spekking.
next was the curwed missing captial. i became i at every turg. And of coutse it's no use tuinrng to the spall chrcier which is usually set on 'aiti' as if it see s anuthin g remotle y near a word it recgonsies it gets left i.n so what you woshed to say as a welcine to a new mekbet might be the boggest insuky you could lanf .
Finally we have the foting 's'. You kno w the one. the right digti has hit the spade bar before the left one has fiindhe s appluing the 's' to the end of the word . So fistes becomes 'fishe s '.
so that lot got me thonking - why can I type in a jumgled wa y - if I wanted to I couldn' t/ Just like led Sawdon playing poani baxly, it's harser thab you thinkb. well it might be die to the tao cekks in my braon. I am convonce d I only have the teo and at tomes the wide chaellgnes mr for a recount on that scite. if I'm right then the lert cell control s the right dugit and the right cell controls the left digot when ytpong. What if the wirin g was shirt corcuite d or interupted cocasionally. well that would delsy the aignals to the digots and if the rught cekk was on the blinl iwouldn' t prexx duwn the shoft key quiclly enoogh to catch all those capital s. there we hvea it a sciemtiffic hypitheso s. Just got to probe it now.
Well let's turn to more appropriate matters = jayakong. There are some days when I can paffle for miles (stanima akkowing = they're getting feqer now) in a stroaght lime. Straight as an aeeow errortlessly. then therr are other s wheb you mught thonk I've been on the boggle . Fi the river polide ever wanged to catch a drink drover at the gelk of the jayak then on thed e day s they woudl scute.
I cuncenrrate till my two cekks hurt but to no avail . iblake the tife. The wins. The dompaym gettin g tii close. bUt no it' s back to my dydlezia agaon. You see, if my legt cell is a bit slosre to get the sitnal t o sto p the strole to my rifht arm than my other cell is to my left , o will veet off lime in a corgle to the loft. ANd that ' s what happen s. it' s no ise goong to one of Zegar's coorses - it's not techniwue - it's biarn clel actiyvit or the lsck of it . On days like these I need a tahsem and someoe n else to take over the gelm.
w ell there we are. I winder just how many of od duffer the sane fart.
f or those who moght not recignose a wurd I am talling a bout I have place the original text below this one, just as it was tuled. See if you can padd the 'olf ate'gest and decuphre ti.
C8RUL
Getty ;D
Just a passing thought - it shows an amazing resemblance to Welsh too - maybe it's part of my heritage, boyo. ;D
